Being a mom is highly rewarding, but it’s also stressful. Moms play multiple roles in a day (cook, taxi driver, homework monitor, nurse, emotional soother, etc.). We run from thing to thing, never really having the time to complete anything well. We give so much of ourselves that we often don’t pay attention to our own bodies and to our need for revitalization. Stop what you are doing and look at this "to do list." If you can’t check the things on this list, you need a break.
Mom stands for Mother On the Move.
You wake up at 6:30 a.m. and feed the baby. The two preschoolers, Jack and Jill, wake up. The baby cries. Jill needs her bottom wiped, and Jack has just spilled his milk trying to be mom’s big-boy helper. The baby is still screaming. Jill’s out of the bathroom and has fallen on the step. Now she’s screaming. Jack, the helper, is dragging her to the “bandage place.” The baby stops crying, you reach down and place the bandage on Jill’s scraped knee. For one moment, everyone is silent. You take a deep breath, and it starts again. Jack is jumping up and down yelling, “The baby spit up all over mommy’s clothes.” He seems to be enjoying this! You look at your watch. You’ve only been up for an hour! Twenty-three more to go! Mom-stress is a way of life.
You probably don’t know whether to laugh or cry if this is your life. I suggest you laugh because humor helps with stress. Mom-stress is a part of mothering. There never seems to be enough of us to go around. By the end of the day, sleep is our only friend.
Being a mom is highly rewarding, but let’s admit it, it’s also stressful. Moms play multiple roles in a day¾cook, taxi driver, homework monitor, nurse, emotional soother, etc. We run from thing to thing, never really having the time to complete anything well. We give so much of ourselves that we often don’t pay attention to our own bodies and to our need for revitalization.
Stop what you are doing and look at this checklist. If you can’t check these things, you need a break. You can only go on empty so long.
I have one hour to myself a day.
I know this sounds impossible but take it. Pass off the kids to your spouse. Lock your door for 15 minutes. Sit in your closet and just think. Rest while the baby naps. Do something.
I don’t have to live in a perfect house.
OK – so your mother starched the kids’ shoelaces—who says you have to do the same? Learn to live with imperfection knowing that the day of clean houses will return in later years.
I can say no.
You don’t have to be superwoman and do everything you are asked to do. Tell the room mother you can’t bake those dozen cupcakes this week. Don’t apologize for setting limits.
I am calm with my kids.
A sure sign of stress is you yelling at everyone. If you are anxious, wound up and irritable, it’s time to take a walk. Get out of the house for a minute or get a sitter for an hour.
I am enjoying my children.
If all you can think about is the day they leave home, something needs to change. Maybe you have too much going on. You may need to re-think your priorities and scale down your activities.
Don’t forget that under every mom is a woman in hiding. Find her and let her out once in awhile. She’ll help relieve mom-stress.
Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with twenty years in psychotherapy practice. For more articles by Dr. Mintle, go to Counseling and Advice on the Health Channel.
